(This is probably my favorite book of all time, apart from the Bible)
Hebrews 4 talks about entering God's rest
(believing, trusting, resting in the truth of His goodness and sufficiency)
but I confess that these last few weeks have been lived writhing on the edge of anxiousness, of fear, of unanswered questions and doubt.
Oddly, right after the exhortation to rest comes this:
"
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."
v.12
The truth always starts in our hearts.
And even in my sleep last night, God was dealing with my heart... and I woke this morning with clearer vision than I went to bed with last night.
In this book, C.S Lewis addresses the questions of love, of truth, of trust, of the "gods" with his retelling of the myth of Cupid and Psyche. He speaks from the perspective of Psyche's older sister, who is angered and disenchanted with the gods by the way they have dealt with her and her younger sister. In my small opinion, C.S. Lewis is genius.
So, here are some of my favorite quotes from her (the older sister)...
"I
say the gods deal very unrightly with us. For they will neither
(which would be best of all) go away and leave us to live our own
short days by ourselves, nor will they show themselves openly and
tell us what they would have us do. For that too would be endurable.
But to hint and hover, to draw near us in dreams and oracles, or in a
waking vision that vanishes as soon as seen, to be dead silent when
we question them and then glide back and whisper (words we cannot
understand) in our ears when we most wish to be free of them, and to
show to one what they hide from another; what is all this but
cat-and-mouse play, blindman's buff, and mere jugglery? Why must holy
places be dark places?"
Why must holy places be dark places? Indeed.
Places of confusion, doubt, hurt, and frustration.
Job found them to be so - senseless heartbreak and God is silent.
As did Moses, carrying a nation capricious and rebellious.
As did David, anointed king, but fleeing for his life and living with the enemy.
As did Esther in a foreign land with her own life and people on the line.
As did Jesus who knew, but still wished for some other way.
David says in the Psalms:
To you, O LORD, I call;
my rock, be not deaf to me,
lest, if you be silent to me,
I become like those who go down to the pit.
Psalm 28:1
When God is silent, I despair... but then again, how often do I shun Him, when I am afraid of what He might say?
The story doesn't stop there - for which I am also grateful. Her eyes are opened, and the older sister sees much more clearly:
“Lightly men talk of saying what they mean... When the time comes to you at which you
will be forced at last to utter the speech which has lain at the
centre of your soul for years... you'll not talk about joy of words.
I saw well why the gods do not speak to us openly, nor let us answer.
Till that word can be dug out of us, why should they hear the babble
that we think we mean? How can they meet us face to face till we have
faces?”
So much of what we think we mean, we do not understand.
Oh, God, open our eyes... and thank you for your patience to lead us to understanding... Help us to see better, and to see you better... and truly.
"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.
Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known."
I Corinthians 13:12
My longing for the new year is to see more clearly, and to be real... whatever that may mean.
"Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen."
Jude 24-25
