Larger than life.
Always kind.
Always loving.
Always knowing the right thing to say.
Never tired
grumpy
profane
scared
weak
awkward
awkward
lonely
confused
wrong.
That is the wound.
That the biggest fear.
That I will be weighed and found
wanting.
Hence these stones in my pocket.
guardedness.
cheeriness.
strength.
answers.
image.
reputation.
I thought they were put in my hands by
others
when perhaps expectations weren't met and
grace ran out.
and stony silence filled in
the hole where friendship once was.
but perhaps I was the one
to stoop
and gather them up.
If I threw them all away,
Would you still want me around?
“Got a reputation with everyone. But
I don't want one with you.”
- Derek Webb
“If the Son sets you free, you will
be free indeed.” - Jesus
“There is no fear in love, but
perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and
whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” - John
Freedom... and freedom from fear
fact? or fiction?
...is it ok that I'm not there yet?
God. For knowing and still loving... I adore you.
and you? what are you afraid of?
Hmmm. I've been thinking over some of these same things, so thanks for writing this post. A thought--in the book Captivating the author suggests that whatever we're afraid of is what we need to do, in order to prove our fears meaningless.
ReplyDelete(i love you, by the way)
Kate. I love you too, very much... and any other fear, I agree... I'm right there - I'll jump of a barge, walk through the woods in the dark, get up and speak in front of people, heck, even kill tarantulas... but what do you DO about THIS? <3
ReplyDeleteps. I think this is the biggest thing I need to deal with God (and myself) about...