One month away.

I'm not sure how I feel about being torn in two...

...and a gentle reminder comes... isn't this what I was praying for?

A release from the numbness that has been plaguing me for almost 2 years now?

A mother's heart?

I let a foot here send down a few tender shoots, a few aching roots... is this what it means to long for That Land?

Do I love Peru and the people there?

yes.

Am I going to miss Maine and the people here?

Like sneakers miss laces. Or an envelope misses a letter. Or a cactus misses the desert.

In the ache of pulling away and (trying to) let go, I WILL give thanks.

Thank you God for a family that I love enough to miss.

Thank you for Mom and Gram who continue to meet to pray every night,

For old friendships, strengthened and renewed.

For new friendships, tender but cherished.

For the time spent with H and S and teaching me what it means to love fiercely again.

(oh, Lord ... but Your will be done)

For re-opening my eyes to time savored, not just spent.

For the beauty of your creation here, unique with jagged coast, frigid waters, spruce and fir woods, wool-gray clouds, smoky air and salt breezes.

For time, much too short, with the coolest niece and nephews in this wide world.

For early mornings watching the world awaken and late nights, feeling Your care as it sleeps.

For Gulf Hagas, Great Pond Mountain, Schoodic, Fowler Pond, Thurston Pond and the woods behind the house.

For ninja stars, ninja games, and soccer and sledding in the dark.

For night frolicks by the Penobscot, rolling in leaves, drinking peppermint hot chocolate and watching the tide come in.

For Sunday afternoon walks, the Monkeys and apple baseball.

For the Beatles, magical music, incredible (and young) guitarists, the best acapella 11 year old I've ever heard and my friend the rockstar, Kendall.

For healing Rony.

For the trip to VT ... and beyond.

For reminding me that it's not what I do, it's who I am.

For loving me even though I get restless, confused, self-righteous, and deaf to you.

For giving me the grace to be imperfect... and not quitting on me.

For loneliness, fears, doubt, confusion and even mistakes - for nothing drives me better to my knees and to You.

For reminding me that because of Jesus, it's all worth it.

And for Peru... Oh Lord.

Thank you for humbling experiences – and I pray for relationships restored.

For Juan who faithfully took care of my house.

For Isaac who faithfully took care of my bike. Maybe a bit too faithfully.

For Chris.

For the work you have been doing while I've been gone.

For the chance to see Lains and Omar, Patrick and Juan, Junior and Jessica, Miguel and Aymar, Kender and Daniel, Rita and Ruth... and 200 other niños again.

For the chance to see Dannig and Sandra, Darinka and Marlith, Carlos and Peter again.

For the community that I know you will provide.

For the purpose I know you will give.

For the Paluskys and their vision for the Hurarina tribe... and more.

For the knowledge that You are the same God, no matter where I go... and that I am Yours and You are mine.